What is Tolerance for Disagreement? How Can It be Developed by Married Couples/People? And What are the Benefits of Bringing More Tolerance in the Relationship?
One important factor of healthy relationships is ‘disagreement tolerance’. It implies to the level till which we can positively deal with disagreements or the extent to which we can tolerate disagreements.
As we have explained earlier in article on Conflicts that little disagreements end up in harmful conflicts if they are not treated as mere disagreements and instead, are taken as personal attacks. In this article, we’ll discuss difference between disagreements and conflicts and also discuss effective ways of handling disagreements.
When two people talk or share ideas on any particular topic, there is a chance that they have opinions or viewpoints different from one another.
Now, people interpret these differences in a different way, some might take them lightly and not let these change their mood and the direction of conversation whereas, others might take these disagreements as personal attacks and insult, and resultantly start arguing or stop talking etc.
This difference comes because of the different levels of tolerance each of us has; some have good tolerance for disagreements and some haven’t. Here is the point from which conflicts and fights start.
A simple disagreement is a disagreement and not a personal attack or anything offensive. People can disagree as they have the right to have their personal opinion and preference. It doesn’t mean you take it so seriously.
When you’ll start getting upset on little things, you’ll definitely end up having lots of conflicts and very bad mood which will eventually spoil your day and harm your relationship.
For handling disagreements, it is important that you first check your tolerance level and then start working on it i.e., you start developing more tolerance and then see the magic. Here, most people would probably say that I can’t develop tolerance or even if I try I fail when I’m in such a situation.
Now here’s the trick; always keep this in mind that when you are motivated to save your marriage or when you really wish to keep your love alive, then you’ll definitely try to change yourself by increasing your tolerance level.
It is not that difficult because, when you change your thinking about ‘conflicts’ and take disagreements in a positive way, you automatically start becoming more tolerant and peaceful, and everyone loves a peaceful relationship.
Now, we’ll talk about some tips and tricks that will prove to be helpful for you while having disagreements. First of all, you have to make up your mind that you are motivated to save your relation from the distasteful conflicts and quarrels and arguments.
While conversating with your partner/spouse, it is very important that you stay alert and notice the direction in which the conversation is going, for example, while discussing something, you notice that you guys have started entering into unending arguments which are bringing more negative things in the conversation and your moods start changing, your facial expressions are changing, your voice tone is changing etc.
Now, this is a very critical point and you’ll be able to notice it only if you are alert of the situation. This point is the time when you need to take action and stop the conversation from entering into a fight or conflict.
Here, you need to relax yourself first, and then talk to your partner about the harmful consequences of this argument. Try to communicate to your partner that there is a better of handling these disagreements.
Both of you first respect each other’s opinions/choices/likes & dislikes/priorities and then find out a middle way through which each of you feels “understood” and is comfortable to follow the decision you reach.
It is always good if you understand and respect each other’s opinion and then mutually reach a conclusion and make a decision, this way both of you will be satisfied and you’ll be amazed when your conversation will end up with so much positivity and a great mood.