How is spousal relation effected by children? Do babies bring couples together? Do couples fight more after a baby? How to connect with your husband/wife after having a baby?

Spousal Relation Effected by Children
Photo by Marco Ceschi on Unsplash

Many people ask this question “does spousal relationship change after having kids?”. The answer to this is YES and this worries people. Well, there is nothing to worry about, you can keep your love alive and you can enjoy your relationship, we’ll tell you how but first, let’s see what changes are brought to the relationship with the birth of a baby.

When a couple is living together, the prime center of both the partners’ attention is their romantic relationship and the needs of each other. Both try their best to invest in their relationship and take care of each other, they have lots of love, affection, care, plans, and goals relating to their romantic relationship.

As the baby comes in the family, their priorities (especially the priorities of mother) change all of a sudden and thus the spousal/romantic relationship goes through many changes. The mother (female spouse/partner) gets lots of new responsibilities as she is the primary caregiver for the baby.

Before the baby, the wife gives her love and attention fully to her husband but, after the baby’s birth her attention gets diverted. As the infant needs a 24-hour attention therefore, the wife is unable to give her husband the same attention as before, and this is what bothers the husband.

But this is unintentional and unavoidable, the mother cannot leave her infant and go to her husband to comfort him. When a woman becomes mother for the first time, she has not much idea of handling her baby carefully and she slowly learns how to take care of him/her.

During this time, she needs cooperation of her husband. Husbands, mostly, do not understand their wives’ condition and needs at that time and they misinterpret their wives’ behavior. Misconceptions arise here and they do not share their feelings with each other nor do they properly communicate to each other what they need.

The father (the male spouse/partner) also gets his responsibilities doubled as he has to take care of the needs of his wife and baby both. He works harder to provide all the necessities of life to his family so he has some burden on his mind as well.

Other little changes in the life include lack of sleep, lack of physical contact, lack of time for spending together etc. These little things change in life when the baby is born. These can cause the spouses to argue and get into fights sometimes.

Babies, on the other hand, bring spouses closer as well. There are couples whose chemistry isn’t working good or who don’t have good compatibility, they are brought closer by baby. The child draws their attention towards him/her and they come closer to each other while taking care of their baby.

They try to change themselves and fix things in their relationship for their baby’s sake, for providing their baby a better and loving home environment.

Therefore, the birth of baby can have both types of effects on couples. Now, let’s discuss some of the strategies that you can use for inculcating these changes. You can use some of these things:

  1. Understand each other’s position and responsibilities/sympathize with each other
  2. Help each other to lessen the burdens
  3. Don’t hide your feelings from each other, share with each other your thoughts, emotions, needs etc.
  4. Spare some time for each other no matter how busy you are (it isn’t difficult to take out a few moments for each other)
  5. Do not lessen your physical contact, don’t neglect your physical relationship
  6. Speak each other’s love language
  7. Do little things for making each other happy (give little surprises to each other)

These little things can make big differences so if you are facing any of the above mentioned problems, try these little remedies to fix them, and if you are about to become parents then this article can guide you in advance of the upcoming challenges in your life so be ready to tackle them effectively.


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