Is Marriage Key to Happiness/Can Marriage Make You Happy? How Do You Find Happiness in Marriage? How Does Happiness in Marriage Change Over Time?
The very first thing that comes to your mind when you think of marriage is HAPPINESS. Happiness comes from sharing a whole life and doing things together. Being social or longing for relationships is in human nature.
Apart from a fair few, people mostly seek relationships and companionships for happiness and peace of mind. So we can say that happiness is the basic reason behind marriage. But does marriage guarantee happiness ? Do you stay happy during your whole married life ? Or does happiness decline with the length of this relationship ? We’ll answer these questions today in this article.
One thing which is important to be discussed beforehand is that when the person we know from a few meetings becomes a very different person when we start living with him/her.
People’s personalities are of 3 types; the way we behave in front of people or the personality we show to people is way different from the one we actually have or the one we have at home or when we’re alone. This is the first type which we maintain in front of the general world ( our premarital romantic relationships also come under this), the second type is the one which we show to some people lets say our very close ones (parents, siblings, spouse), and the last is the one which is exposed to none, it is known by ourselves only. The reason, for giving this example or personality masks/types, is to let you know how the person you date and claim to know very well comes out to be a different person after you marry him/her.
Before marriage, both men and women try to be nice and cute and lovy dovy sort and display the behavior which their romantic partner expects and appreciates but, this thing doesn’t last after marriage and they automatically and unintentionally become more ‘natural’ and ‘the way they are’ as they get into a strong and trusted relationship.
This is the reason why most people after marriage say things like “my spouse is a different person now” or “he doesn’t behave like before anymore” etc. This isn’t a bad thing, this is human nature.
The problem starts when your expectations are not met and you don’t feel good or happy. Now when you have understood the problem, you’ll be better able to resolve it. Try to get adjusted to your partner’s ‘real’ personality and accept him/her that way, don’t compare his/her behaviour with the past one.
When you make a mindset of something then you are in a state of comparison but, when you start accepting things the way they keep occurring then your problems and complaints are reduced to a minimum.
Now, lets see how you can keep happiness in your marriage for ever. In our lives we observe that as time passes things change, nothing remains the same forever. Your happiness lies in moving along the time and not in staying inside the past. When you accept new situations and changes in life, you are ready to adjust to those changes, and this is what keeps you happy.
Remember, your present moment is the only moment which is in your hands, neither your past nor your future can be controlled by you therefore, it is wise to utilize this present moment and live it to the full.
As your marital relationship moves along, many things change, your conversations change, your preferences change, your likes and dislikes change. The key to happiness is to accept and adapt to the changes that the passing time brings.
If you aren’t happy with your marriage anymore then sit for a while and think of the possible reasons for it, start thinking of the things that can bring that spark back in your life.
And one most important thing is communication— it is very very important in your relationship. Never ever make guesses from your spouse’s behavior that he/she has changed or is fed up. Always talk things over with your spouse and try to find out a mutually agreed solution to your problems. If you have stopped being happy in your marriage then talk to your spouse about this and try to find the remedy for it together.