What is Divorce? Its Causes, Consequences and Ways to Avoid it.
Divorce basically is the permanent separation between the spouses and official dissolution of marriage. When two people decide to stop living together and move away from each other permanently, they go for a divorce.
Researches over the time have shown increase in divorce rates around the globe but, less has been done to control this toll. In most parts of the world, divorce isn’t taken positively because the couple and their families suffer as a result.
Divorces bring big changes into people’s lives and some people are unable to adapt to these changes properly and thus need help to get back to normal life and plan their future. In this article we’ll discuss the antecedents and consequences of divorce.
Marital relationships begin with a lot of hopes and expectations. It is not necessary that all of them get fulfilled, because of which, conflicts and disappointments begin. It is also said that during the early period of marriage, the spouses display the best of their behavior and try to ignore the negativities in the relationship but, as time passes, they stop tolerating and start complaining.
These little complaints and fights sometimes get way too far and the couple finds it difficult to cope with these problems, they find separation and divorce as the only way of ending all this. This is a negative way of coping with the problems.
The solution to the problems lies in facing them and trying to solve them, and not in running away from them. This way, you’ll never be able to get adjusted in any relationship as all relations face problems and they go through crises.
You’ll often hear divorcing couples saying things like “it was impossible to continue this relation”, “we can’t get along anymore”, “there’s nothing left in this relation now”, “it’s meaningless now” etc. etc.. There is too much negativity at the end and the couple feels helpless in getting out of the mess.
Usually, in the beginning of the relationship, people tend to ignore little misunderstandings and conflicts. They try not to harm the relationship. This actually is harmful i.e., when you suppress your negative feelings, they keep piling up and finally burst out in an unimaginable way.
Thus, the harm which you earlier wanted to save your relationship from, gets increased in size and you find yourself helpless in controlling the situation. As we’ll discuss later, the use of good communication is very essential.
If you know ways of communicating with your spouse well then, you can resolve your problems with ease. One thing you should implement in your marital life is; to keep track of the goods and bads in the relationship i.e., you should occasionally go for the appraisal of your relationship, this way you’ll be able to understand the current position of your relation as well as the direction in which it is going.
It is necessary to balance your relationship with positive and negative affect. According to psychology, a 5:1 of positivity to negativity during conflicts is necessary for a healthy marriage.
We have talked about some factors leading to divorce. Now, we’ll discuss the outcomes of the same. Divorces not only affect your life, but also your children’s lives. I accept that it is not at all easy to say goodbye to a person you once loved and started a family with.
Divorces are painful for both of them and bring changes in both spouses’ lives. Also, if you have children, their lives get so much disturbed. Children love to live with both their parents, they feel happy and secure that way, their personalities are groomed well if you provide them a healthy and happy family environment.
It is not easy for children to adjust to a new family, a new parent, new siblings. Therefore, while thinking of divorce, do think of your children and the impact your divorce will have on their lives.