In this article we’ll talk about a relatively recent and moulded style of marriage counseling and that is ‘Discernment Counseling’. In our earlier articles we had familiarized you with marriage counseling and divorce counseling, what they are, when and why they are needed, whom to consult etc.
Same is the nature and purpose of discernment counseling (to save an endangered relationship). Discernment counseling has been introduced for those couples who don’t want to go into prolonged sessions of counseling and need a quick remedy for saving their relationship.
Discernment counseling normally consists of 5 to 6 sessions, and is different from other types of marriage/relationship counseling in the way that here, one partner wants to quit the relationship while the other one wants to continue it and is striving to save the marriage. In discernment counseling, some sessions are done with both the partners to gain insight into the current position or situation of the relationship while the other sessions are done with the partner who wants divorce or separation.
Like other types of marriage counseling, the aim of discernment counseling is to save the relationship by identifying the faulty behaviors of the spouses and by helping them out in altering their behavior patterns so that the relationship can go smoothly in the future.
The aim of counseling is to get a person introduced with his/her faulty behaviors so that he/she may not repeat such behaviors in the future relationships even if one chooses divorce. It’s been seen that the rates of divorce in 2nd and 3rd marriages are higher as compared to the 1st one, this is because of the repetition of similar odd behaviors which cause dissolution of the 1st marriage. You see ending a relationship isn’t the solution of your sufferings rather, finding out the faulty behavior and changing that behavior is the solution.
Discernment counseling tries best to save the relationship when there is a ray of hope. If one of you doesn’t want to end the relationship, this is an excellent opportunity for you to consider going to a counselor for discernment counseling so that your relationship might get another chance and you might not have to regret on your decision of ending your relationship in your later life.
It’s very difficult to get out of the depression and tensions which divorce brings along with it and divorces are never pleasant and desired so, try to fight for your relationship till the last moment. One thing is for sure, no matter how big the problems are, no matter how fed up you think you are from the relationship, there is so much strength in the holy and sin-free relationship of marriage that every negativity, every harsh feeling, every conflict can be eliminated because God’s blessings are with the relationship.