Differences between Men and Women in the Way of Problem Solving?
Earlier we discussed the difference in the way men and women show their care and concern. We’ll now discuss the difference in the way they solve their problems.
As we mentioned earlier in our previous article that men and women have different ways of thinking and feeling so, their ways of coping with problems and finding solutions are also different. Both of them are misunderstood when they’re in problem. Let’s discuss how men and women experience and solve problems.
When your wife is in problem or she’s going through hard times, she’ll be frustrated and will SHOUT OUT to tell you that she’s in trouble. Women, as we discussed earlier, are expressive and they want to talk about their problems all the time.
Also, they mostly use EMOTION FOCUSED coping strategies (they worry a lot by focusing on the problem itself and not on the solution, they worry and repeatedly talk about the problem) for solving problem. They sound complaining when they talk to their spouses about their problems.
Their spouses misinterpret this signal and they think they are being blamed for everything. Well, this is not the reality. Your woman talks about the problem too much because she gets emotional over it and finds relief in discussing the problem in much detail.
The woman feels stressed by the problem and wants to relieve her stress by talking about the problem more, she wants you to understand her and show concern about it. She’ll then be relieved and find a solution to her problem by discussing that solution with you once she finds you attentive. So, don’t confuse your wife’s complains with blaming, she doesn’t blame you she just needs you to listen.
Men, on the other hand, have a different approach towards problems and they solve their problems in a different way. We mentioned earlier that women talk about their problems, how about men?
They do not talk about issues at all, rather, they become silent and keep pondering on the problem and its solution. They mostly use PROBLEM FOCUSED coping (by directly focusing on the problem itself and figuring out the most appropriate solution) and thus keep thinking themselves about the possible solution to their problem.
They get isolated in order to achieve their goal (of problem solving). When a man stops talking much and stays quiet, the wife thinks he’s not in a good mood or he’s unhappy in the relationship. Wives become worried and they keep asking their husbands to share with them what the matter is, they worry too much because they don’t know the reason behind this behavior of their partners.
Well, there’s nothing to worry about as men solve their problems this way. The best way to handle this situation is to give your partner some space by letting him remain in his isolation, letting him remain quiet and figure out the solution, your partner will automatically become normal and get back to you when he’ll find solution to his problem.
It’s men’s nature that they feel good about themselves when they know they’re capable of handling issues and they don’t feel good until they’re able to solve issues by themselves. Men like to solve their issues independently, all by themselves and without anyone else’s assistance, this is the reason why they become silent and don’t discuss with anyone.