Differences between Men and Women in the Way of Emotional Needs?
This article is the continuation of the series in which we are talking about the differences between men and women. Today, we’ll talk about the different emotional needs of men and women and how these needs are misunderstood in a relationship.
In a marital relationship, both the husband and wife try to express love to their partner according to their own needs (just as they want to receive love themselves). Both men and women express their love according to their nature, without the thought that their way of expression might not be desired and their partners might be expecting something different.
Before looking into the difference between the love and emotional needs of the two sexes, let’s discuss why these differences occur. As we have discussed in earlier articles, men and women have different natures and their ways of showing care and concern are different because of their gender.
Women show concern by caring too much whereas, men try to solve the emotional problems of their partners to show that they are concerned. Both of them try wrong ways of showing concern because their partners don’t expect that, they expect something different. Women have some basic needs which make them satisfied in their relationship and they feel fulfilled in the relationship if these needs are met properly.
According to the famous psychologist John Grey, these needs are care, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, reassurance. Men, on the other hand, have different needs of emotional fulfillment in the relationship, those are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement. We’ll briefly explain each of these needs now:
Care & Trust:
Women feel loved when their husbands show care for them, when they take care of their little needs, women feel fulfilled and as a result they develop trust in their men which is very much appreciated by men and which compels men to do more for their queens of heart.
Understanding & Acceptance:
Women feel safe and loved in a relationship when their partners have understanding attitude towards them i.e., their husbands understand their problems and their needs by empathizing with them.
Men, on the other hand, feel much loved and easy in a relationship when their partners show acceptance on their decisions and don’t forcefully try to take care of them, men love when their decisions are valued and accepted, so this is the real way to show love to your man—be accepting.
Respect & Appreciation:
What most men don’t know and don’t pay attention to is the need of respect which every woman desires in a relationship, women know their men love them when they have respecting attitude towards their wives, give your woman respect and she will return it to you in double.
Men too feel loved when they receive appreciation from their partners for the things they do for them. A very nice way to show love to your husband is to appreciate the little (as well as big) things he does for you, your appreciation encourages him to do more for you.
Devotion & Admiration:
When a man gives priority to his wife’s needs over his own needs and commits himself to fulfilling here needs, she feels loved and secure. A woman’s love need is fulfilled when her husband shows devotion and takes care of her physical as well as emotional need. A man’s love needs are fulfilled when his wife admires him, loves him, praises his unique characteristics etc. So ladies! Men too need admiration and praise just like you.
Validation & Approval:
Women feel loved and understood when their men validate their feelings, emotions, and needs. When they find their men empathizing with them and showing concern with their life issues, they get the signal that their feelings and words are being validated by their partners and they feel safe and loved.
Men secretly, in their hearts, want to be their women’s hero–the knight in a shiny armour, they want their women’s approval and satisfaction in the relationship. When the wife shows satisfaction and happiness in the relationship, the man feels satisfied too. Approval is the appreciation of all the good things he does for her and the satisfaction he gives in the relationship.
Reassurance & Encouragement:
‘Reassurance’ is the need of a woman which most men don’t know about or don’t understand. Men think that once they assure their wives about their love, they (the wives) will spend the rest of their lives happily with that thought in mind, but that’s not the case.
Women need to be assured again and again that they are loved. Expressing love to a woman is never ending, it’s never enough for her, and you need to keep assuring her from time to time that you love her. Otherwise, she will start thinking that your love has ended or shifted to someone else and all such sort of things.
On the other side men want encouragement from their partners. The confidence you show in your man’s abilities and decisions, gives him more confidence in himself, never degrade him or devalue his thinking and decisions, this will harm his personality. A woman’s encouraging attitude gives hope and courage to a man and consequently he is able to love his wife whole heartedly.