Couple Communication – Understanding Different Aspects of Spousal Communication and Learning Effective Ways of Communicating

couple communication
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Communication is the process of sending and receiving of a message or piece of information. Here at least two people are involved i.e., a speaker and a listener. Marital communication is a little different from normal communication.

Marital communication is more private, and emotion based than normal communication. The communication which occurs between the spouses is not based on formalities and things like that rather, it is more intimate, real, and sentimental in nature.

The level of frankness, expectations, and emotions in a marital communication is different from that of normal communication. Before we discuss couple communication, it is important that we identify the kinds of communication.

Two types of communication have been identified so far; positive communication and negative communication. Positive communication is marked by proper conveying of the message and feelings.

The impression which comes to mind with the word ‘positive’ is that only positive things and feelings are communicated and negative ones are not. Well this is not the reality actually.

Positive communication means that you communicate each and everything you want to, but, in a proper way. You should not hide if you feel bad about something or if you don’t like something or don’t want to do anything but, there is a proper way of saying it to your husband or wife.

For example, if you don’t like the shirt your husband is wearing, instead of saying things like “I don’t like that shirt of yours and take it off please” or “that shirt doesn’t suit you, go change it please”, you can say it in a more optimistic way like, “I think you should try that shirt instead of this one, that will suit you more” or “what do you think about that black shirt, won’t it look better on this jeans than this maroon one?”.

Just try little things like this in your life and see the difference yourself. Many little quarrels and unpleasant disagreements will be gone, and you’ll be enjoying your conversations a lot more than before.

Coming to negative communication now, negative communication means inappropriately communicating your feelings and thoughts to your spouse and also, not letting him/her communicate back to you properly. Bluntly saying things without considering their impact on the next person, blaming, not listening to the other person etc. are all examples of negative communication.

Here, I’ll give you an advice that you evaluate your way of communication. This way you’ll get to know about the type of communication you use i.e., either positive or negative. And the best part is, you can change your way of communicating. I’ll be giving you tips later on which will help you in improving your relationships. When you try to work on things, you get to know that everything is in your hands most of the times, it’s just you who has to take care of the relationship. And one thing which is very important, is that both, husband and wife, have to take the responsibility of maintaining the relationship. The relations become tiring when only one member puts efforts and the other one doesn’t bother. We’ll discuss in detail, the roles of husband and wife in later articles as well, which will help you better in doing your roles effectively.

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